Arrival by Nataliya Deleva

Author:Nataliya Deleva [Deleva, Nataliya]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Four Minutes, Bulgarian fiction, Folk tales, Domestic abuse, Burnt sugar, Maid, Asylum Road, Cleanness, Carmen Maria Machado, When I Hit You
Publisher: The Indigo Press
Published: 2022-02-23T21:00:00+00:00

a dream

we’re in a car and the car is at the top of a hill; the hill is carpeted in freshly cut grass; all of us are in there: my sister and I, mum and dad; it’s one of those dreams in which I see myself from the side; I am in the front seat and holding the wheel, even though I’m fifteen and I cannot drive; before our eyes, the hill is steep and green

suddenly, the car starts moving downhill at full force; the next moment it starts rolling over like a scene in an action film; the car doors open (are those mannequins in the car or real people?), my father falls out of the car and continues to roll down head over heels; I watch everything without being able to influence it, I notice it from afar; we are all alive; I see how there, at the bottom of the hill, my grandparents are waving at us, waiting

I woke up tense, my hand muscles aching as if I were gripping the wheel from my dream for real

three days later, my mother packed our clothes and textbooks in three black bin bags; she also took half the books from the shelves, the china teacups that her parents gave her as a wedding present, and the photo albums; it was saturday afternoon; my father was at a football match with friends, so mum was rushing to get things packed before he got back

my sister and I were waiting in our room; being the older one, it was my job to distract my sister so we didn’t get in mum’s way, but instead I was sitting on the floor, trying to pacify my stomach cramps, both from excitement that it would all end soon and from fear that my father might come back and find us before we were able to escape

mum had organized everything; when the doorbell rang, she rushed to open the door; our relatives had come to take us and to offer us shelter for a day; the plan was to get the train the next morning to our grandparents’ and move in with them, temporarily at least

we had piled all the bags and boxes into the car when my father showed up; on any other day, he would be late, going for a few drinks after the game

but not this time

he was standing by the door, sober and confused; looking back, I wonder if he knew; had he anticipated my mother’s decision? he seemed embarrassed, tried to hug mum, begged her to stay; the relatives kindly pushed me and my sister back to our room so we didn’t witness the quarrel

we stood still, one ear pressed to the wall, hoping to hear what the adults were talking about; from time to time somebody raised their voice, then everyone started shouting over each other and, finally, went quiet again

hours later we were still in the room, hungry and tired, sitting in opposite corners, giving up on our

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